


all my demons have your smile

by hosiesdoormat



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Drunk Josie missing Hope, F/F, Pining, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:22:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25083820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hosiesdoormat/pseuds/hosiesdoormat
Summary: Hope and Josie have broken up, and Josie absolutely cannot stop thinking about Hope. She proves to be her father's daughter, filling the hole in her heart with alcohol in an attempt to wash away the memory of the love of her life.
Relationships: Hope Mikaelson/Josie Saltzman
Comments: 7
Kudos: 113





	all my demons have your smile

Hope is everywhere. 

She roams the hallways of the school when Josie walks to class, she's in the gym sweating and panting as she trains, she's in the bedroom across from Josie's where the two of them once shared intimate and sacred moments. 

She's even in the air she breathes; the woodsy scent mixed with jasmine never failing to linger around her. 

Wherever Josie goes, Hope follows, even if she wishes with every fiber of her being that she wouldn't anymore. 

It's ironic really. At one point she could barely stand being away from Hope, wanting to be near the older girl and feeling her presence at all times. 

But now, Josie just can't _take_ it anymore. Having your ex who you're still very much in love with lingering like a restless ghost fucking _hurts._

It's Friday night, and rumor has it, there's a party at the Old Mill. 

Josie chuckles dryly when she hears the news from her sister, staring blankly at the wooden floorboard below her. Hope definitely won't be there. She _hates_ parties. She hates the smell of weed even more. Actually, no, she hates- 

"Josie!"

The piercing timbre of Lizzie's voice immediately snaps her out of her thoughts, thank god. A distant memory of Hope at an infamous Old Mill party starts to fade from Josie's mind as Lizzie brings her back to reality. 

"Sorry, I spaced out again," the brunette twin mutters, shaking her head. 

"Yeah, I know," the blonde sighs and sits next Josie, wrapping a comforting arm around her, "well... wanna go? It'd help you get your mind off of-" 

_"Yes."_ Josie blurts out way too fast. 

Contrary to what her sister said, Josie knew that going to the party would do the exact opposite of getting her mind off of Hope, _but_ it was an excuse to get absolutely shit faced which would at least make the pain a little more bearable. Plus, Hope wouldn't even be there to see her be a drunk mess.

"Wait... really?" Lizzie questions, suddenly suspicious of her sister's compliance. 

"Yeah," Josie sighs, "why the hell not." 

-

Well, Josie was wrong. Hope was very much _there_ at the party, drink in hand and giggling with a girl Josie couldn't recognize. It was almost too easy to spot her distinct auburn hair and cute laugh in the crowd of drunk students. 

She remembers when her and Hope would go to parties together, laughing and giggling the way Hope and her new girl currently were.

When they were drunk, Hope would never be able to keep her hands off of Josie, always earning an overly dramatic "get a room!" from Lizzie. They would make out in the woods, away from the mill, and end up leaving early together to Hope's room. They would wake up with each other the next morning, tangled together in her sheets. 

She wonders if Hope remembers, too. 

Josie watches the tribrid carefully from across the room, silently pleading for her to _look back_ at her. Her fingers almost move on their own as they softly clutch the talisman around her neck, tracing the little patterns inscribed on it with her thumb. 

And when the older girl doesn't look back, Josie can't help but feel that for the first time, the magical object has failed her. 

Hope looks _beautiful_ tonight; her soft auburn hair was in perfect waves down her shoulders, and despite the dark and dim lighting of the mill, Josie notices the way her eyes never fail to resemble the very bluest of oceans. 

She was so beautiful it _hurt._

The siphoner gulps, her mouth suddenly feeling way too dry, her heart aching a little more than it should. 

She takes a sip out of her flimsy red solo cup, but the fiery liquor does nothing to ease the desert in her throat. 

Inhaling a shaky breath, Josie glances around the room in defeat. All her friends were laughing in a circle and it seems as though everyone was having a good time, e _specially_ her former flame. 

This was not the place for her to be right now. 

She scans the room with glazed eyes once more, but this time, they quickly land on an unopened bottle of whiskey on the floor.

_Thank god,_ she thinks. A sigh of relief escapes her plump lips, she's _ecstatic_ that she could at least get shit faced alone tonight, away from judging eyes and most importantly, away from _Hope._

She snatches her new savior of the night off of the ground, proud yet disappointed that she was now in a position where alcohol sparked joy.

When no one notices, Josie takes the opportunity to escape, bottle in hand, pulling herself away from the thumping music and into the quiet forest where there were only sounds of crickets chirping and animals howling in the distance. 

You would think that a quiet nighttime stroll in the forest would be peaceful, but in reality, it was the opposite for Josie.

It _would_ be peaceful if memories of Hope weren't constantly flashing through her mind. 

Wherever she goes, Hope is there. 

Sometimes, she even sees the two of them, ghosts of their former selves haunting her wherever she turns. 

For example, to her left, there's a tree that is a little more slouched over than the rest. It's an old tree, but nonetheless, it's branches are thick with leaves and provided a generous amount of shade in the daytime. It was a decently popular date spot for the students. 

And it is under that same tree where Hope and Josie had their first kiss. 

They've kissed about a thousand times, but to Josie, that first one has always been the most memorable one. She remembers how nervous Hope was, how her bottom lip quivered as they kissed. It was soft and innocent, yet so full of want and excitement. It said everything that needed to be said without words. 

_No_ , Josie would never be able to forget that first one. She smiles softly as she relives the memory, swearing that she can still feel the ghost of Hope's soft lips on hers. 

And Josie decides to drink to that. 

"To you, Hope" she whispers and lifts the bottle to her lips, taking in a long and deep swig of the whiskey. 

She almost doesn't feel the burn. It pales in comparison to her heartache. It's pathetic. 

_She's_ pathetic. 

Josie walks on, now a quarter of her way through the bottle, suddenly feeling _too much_ like her father. But she doesn't care– not tonight. 

Her mind is galaxies away as her feet move on their own. She likes to think that a version of them somewhere, maybe in another world, could still be together. 

She just misses her _so much._

And god knows how long later, she stops, finally taking in her surroundings and _fuck._

She inhales a shaky breath and walks forward onto the fragile wooden boards. The water under her flows calmly and the moonlight shines against the surface of the lake so beautifully, but all she feels is _pain._

Of course she would subconsciously end up in the dock; the place where she first confessed her love to Hope. 

Josie huffs at the irony, amazed at how much worse her night is getting. She takes another long swig out of her companion of the night before sitting- no- _falling_ on her ass. 

The warmth of the alcohol buzzes through her body and she feels throughly _drunk-_ so much so that she doesn't even hear the footsteps approaching behind her, or the oh so painfully familiar voice say- 

"Josie?" 

Suddenly, her throat closes up, every muscle in her body tense as she whips around a little too fast, and the world around her spins. Her hazy eyes only catch a glimpse of blue in front of her. 

_Blue?_

"Fuck," Josie whispers, her eyes thinning out into little slits as she glares through watery eyes, "am I hallucinating now?" 

Her eyes finally register what's in front of her and her heart stops for a moment, completely frightened at the possibility that she might have manifested a fucking hallucination of Hope Mikaelson. 

"No. It's me."

Hope, or not Hope?, walks closer, sending a waft of that all consuming scent that Josie had grown so fond of. The blue orbs now melt into her with concern? Sadness? Care? 

"What are you doing out here all alone?" Hope asks softly, a bit of hesitation in her voice that Josie absolutely _hates._

The brunette motions to her bottle and the remaining liquid swishes in the confines of the glass. "What does it look like?" she slurs. 

The older girl's brow furrows and she visibly shrinks. She bites her cheek from the inside of her mouth nervously. But why? 

"You left the party early," she comments, almost like an accusation. She takes a seat next to Josie, sitting a little _too_ close. Their legs brush together and Josie's world burns and freezes over all at once. 

"Not the place for me to be right now," the younger girl mutters, gulping uselessly, "obviously."

Her fingers tremble as they move up to the pendant around her neck once more, the metal of it suddenly feeling too cold. She exhales a shaky breath, one that she didn't realize she'd been holding in. 

"You still wear it?" the tribrid whispers, and Josie thinks she's hallucinating again when she hears something like _hope_ in her voice. She even pretends she doesn't see the older girl's gaze burning into her when she glances back at her. 

The siphoner immediately drops her hand, nervously wrapping it around the bottle. She looks away and off into the water, trying to distract herself by admiring the way the moon lit up the sky.

Huh. It kind of looks like an overgrown toenail-

" _Jo?"_ Hope silently whispers, her quiet voice almost sounding like a plea. She reaches out and softly puts her hand over Josie's, but the younger girl quickly pulls it away. 

_No. That's not fair._

"Why did you follow me?" Josie asks. Her voice is firm, yet it quivers. _Why_ would Hope follow her out here if she was with another girl tonight? 

She takes her bottom lip between her teeth, gnawing at it softly in an attempt to hold in her tears. It was _torture._ Missing Hope, seeing her with another girl and just as she leaves to take her mind off of her, she _follows_ her?

It's not fair. 

Hope doesn't respond. She simply stares back at Josie, kind of resembling a sad puppy. Her lips are curled into a frown and her eyes hold so much _guilt._ But for what?

"To answer your question," Josie sniffs and inhales deeply, " _yes,_ I still wear it." 

"I don't know why, but I haven't had the heart to take it off," she continues, "but _you've_ clearly had the heart to move on and," 

_Oh shit,_ she thinks mid sentence, _here they come._

A traitorous tear drops from her eye and bursts on her leg. Hope watches it as it falls, looking like she's nearly going to cry herself. 

"God, I can't do this," Josie says breathlessly and quickly wipes her eyes with her sleeve. 

Hope moves closer and pulls her body flush against Josie's side, wrapping a careful arm around Josie's waist. She feels her touch like a hot flame, but she doesn't have the _will_ to push her away. Josie surrenders to Hope's touch, leaning into it knowing fully that she'll regret it later. 

But what she doesn't know is the reason that Hope begins to cry. Her blue orbs are now a cloudy grey, a storm of emotions behind them, yet she remains ear achingly silent. 

And Josie, she's- 

"You're shaking," Hope finally says, her voice in a whisper. Her breath tickles Josie's wet cheek, and the tribrid wipes the falling tears away with a careful thumb. She then moves to caress her tear stained cheeks, and Josie feels whole and broken all at once. The tears never stop. 

"I," the older girl starts, "I _haven't_ moved on, Jo. You've gotta believe me,". She starts to rub soothing circles on Josie's back, trying but _failing_ to ease her pain. 

"I never stopped hearing you. Seeing you. No matter how much you thought I did." 

Tears fall from both girls' eyes now, their cheeks and hands completely soaked. Hope only holds Josie tighter, as if she's falling apart, _desperate_ to hold her together. 

"Say something," Hope pleads, urging Josie to at least just _look at her._ "Please." 

The younger girl's eyes are squeezed shut, but she leans into Hope's arm around her, clutching it tightly. She simply sits there crying, unable to speak. 

"I don't know what you want me to say," Josie whispers, her voice _empty._

"I'm drunk and I miss you. So much." she confesses and sighs, utterly defeated. 

Hope exhales, her own breath shaky as well, "I miss you too, baby. I'm so sorry-"

"But," Josie continues, finally opening her eyes and looking at Hope. She stares into the blue/grey mess of emotions in front of her, piercing the tribrid's soul with her own, "we can't do this. You're going to break my heart all over again." 

And as much as it _kills_ her and rips her soul to pieces, Josie gets up and walks away, never looking back. She leaves her heart, and Hope at the dock, and there it remains. 

**Author's Note:**

> i'm so sorry idk what this is 😔 this was a result of my lewis capaldi and 88rising induced hosie breakdown 😔


End file.
